Forgiving Lies fl-1 Read online

  So? That doesn’t help my argument right now. “Well, you and I have both changed over the last eight years. Feelings change—”

  “Yes.” He cut me off and his blue eyes darkened as he gave me a once-over. “They do.”

  I hated that my body was responding to his look. But honestly, I think it’d have been impossible for anyone not to respond to him. Like I said. Adonis. “Uh, Blake. Up here.” He smiled wryly, and dear Lord, that smile was way too perfect. “Look, honestly? I have an issue with the fact that you’re constantly surrounded by very eager and willing females. It’s not like I’d put some claim on you if we went on a couple dates, but you ask me out while these girls are touching you and drooling all over you. It’s insulting that you would ask me out while your next lay is already practically stripping for you.”

  His expression darkened and he tilted his head to the side. “You think I’m fucking them like everyone else?”

  Ah, frick. Um, yes? “If you are, then that’s your business. I shouldn’t have said that, I’m sorry. But whether you are or not, you don’t even attempt to push them away. Since you moved here, I’ve never seen you with less than two women touching you. You don’t find that weird?” Was I really the only person who found this odd?

  Suddenly pushing off the wall he’d been leaning against, he took the two steps toward me and I tried to mold myself to the door. A heart-stopping smile and bright blue eyes now replaced his darkened features as he completely invaded my personal space. If he weren’t so damn beautiful I’d have karate-chopped him and reminded him of personal bubbles. Or gone all Stuart from MADtv on him and told him he was a stranger and to stay away from my danger. Instead, I tried to control my breathing and swallow through the dryness in my mouth.

  “No, Rachel. What I find weird is that you don’t seem to realize that I don’t even notice those other women or what they’re doing because all I see is you. I look forward to seeing you every day. I don’t think you realize you are the best part of my weekdays. I moved here for this job before I even knew you and Candice were going to school here, and seeing you again for the first time in years—God, Rachel, you were so beautiful and I had no idea that it was you. You literally stopped me in my tracks and I couldn’t do anything but watch you.

  “And you have this way about you that draws people to you . . . always have. It has nothing to do with how devastatingly beautiful you are—though that doesn’t hurt . . .” He smirked and searched my face. “But you have this personality that is rare. And it bursts from you. You’re sweet and caring, you’re genuinely happy, and it makes people around you happy. And you have a smile and laugh that is contagious.”

  Only men like Blake West could get away with saying things like that and still have my heart racing instead of making me laugh in their faces.

  “You’re not like other women. Even though these are the years for it, you don’t seem like the type of girl to just have flings, and I can assure you, that’s not what I’m into, nor what I’m looking for with you. So I don’t see those other women; all I’m seeing is you. Do you understand that now?”

  Holy shit. He was serious?

  “Rachel?”

  I nodded and he smiled.

  “So, will you please let me take you out this weekend?”

  For the first time since he’d come back into my life, he actually looked unsure of himself. I was still in complete shock, but I somehow managed to nod again and mumble, “Sure, where do you want to go?”

  He smiled wide and exhaled in relief. “It’s a surprise.”

  I frowned. How did he have a surprise planned if he hadn’t even known I was going to say yes? “And by ‘surprise,’ do you mean you have no clue?”

  “No, it’s just a surprise.”

  I started to turn into Candice and whine that I wouldn’t know what to wear but was interrupted by my own huge yawn, which made me sound more like Chewbacca. I covered as much of my face as possible with the hand that wasn’t holding the rose and laughed awkwardly. “Oh my word, that’s embarrassing.”

  His laugh was deep and rich. “It’s late and I stopped you from going to sleep. If for some reason I don’t see you for the rest of the week, I’ll pick you up at seven on Friday. That sound all right?”

  “That sounds perfect. I’ll see you then, and, uh, thanks for my rose.” Before he could say anything else, I turned the doorknob, gave him a small smile, backed up into the room, and shut the door in his still-smirking face. “Holy hell,” I whispered, and let my forehead fall against the door.

  “Tell. Me. Everything!” Candice practically shrieked, and I turned to narrow my eyes at her.

  Like she hadn’t been listening.

  “We’re going on a date Friday. That’s about it.”

  “That is so not all that was said, Rachel! Ohmigod, did you swoon when he said all he’s seeing is you?”

  “Swoon, Candice? Really? This isn’t one of your romance novels.” And yeah . . . I did kind of swoon. “And that’s exactly why I’m not telling you. You eavesdrop anyway, so what’s the point in going over it all again?”

  “Because I want details of how he looked at you and how you reacted to him.”

  Oh dear God, this was going to be a long night.

  WHY BLAKE THOUGHT we wouldn’t see each other the rest of the week was beyond me, because sure enough he was the first person I saw when I walked into the athletic center the next afternoon. And surprise, surprise . . . he only had four girls around him that day. That wasn’t including the one he was stretching out on the ground.

  Candice’s constant talking faded out as I watched him explaining why he was stretching those particular muscles. But I knew the girl wasn’t paying attention; all she could care about was that he was practically in between her legs.

  The girl on the ground said something I couldn’t hear, and the runway-beautiful, mocha-skinned girl standing closest to me practically purred as she reached for his forearm, “Well, that’s just because Blake’s so good with his . . . hands.” The other four girls started giggling and I wanted to gag.

  Blake’s head shot up and I realized I must have actually gagged out loud. Whoops. Our eyes locked for a few seconds before he quickly looked at the girls surrounding him and his position with the one on the floor. When he looked back at me, his blue eyes were pleading, but I just shook my head and walked off toward the back to get my out-of-the-classroom part of my course over with.

  “Hey.” Candice nudged me. “Don’t get upset about that. They aren’t the ones who have a date with him on Friday.”

  “I’m not upset about that.” I was upset about the fact that that pissed me off. What, did I expect him to change overnight just because we were going to go on one date? Or did his words last night really have me thinking I’d imagined his robot bimbo herd all year? And sheesh, why did I care at all? I didn’t even want to go on a date with him! Not really . . .

  An hour and a half later, I’d successfully avoided his gaze, which I could feel like a laser on my back. But when I turned to put some equipment away, he was right there and there was no way I could avoid Blake in all his real-life Calvin Klein model–ness.

  “You’re mad,” he said, and began taking the equipment out of my arms and putting it in the closet.

  “Um . . . not? And I can put this away myself.”

  “Rachel, I told you. I only see you.”

  “Yeah, no, I heard you.” As soon as everything was put up, I turned away, only to quickly turn back around and face him. “Look, Blake, I don’t think Friday is a good idea.”

  “Why isn’t it?”

  “Well, it’s—you know . . . it’s just not. So thank you for your offer. But once again, and hopefully for the last time, I’m not going to go on a date with you. If you ever move back to California, I really hope this doesn’t make family dinners awkward.”

  The corners of his lips turned up slightly. “All right. You done for the day?”

  This was the first rejection he�
��d taken well, and it threw me off for a moment. “Um, yes?”

  “Let’s go then.”

  “Whoa, wait. Go where? Its Wednesday, not Friday. And I said no anyway.”

  “You said no to a date with me. The date was on Friday. So we aren’t going on a date. We’re just going to go walk, hang out, whatever you want. But it’s not a date.” He stepped close enough that we were sharing the same air and his voice got low and husky. “If you want to call it something, we can call it exercising or seeing Austin. You can hardly count that as a date, Rach.”

  I was momentarily stunned by the effect his voice and blue eyes had on me. “Um . . .” I blinked rapidly and looked down to clear my head. “I’ve lived here almost three years, I don’t need to see the sights.”

  “Perfect, I don’t get out much other than to come to work, so I do. You can be my tour guide.”

  “Blake—”

  “Come on, Rachel.”

  Not giving me an option, he grabbed on to my arm and began towing me out of the building. I caught sight of Candice and she waved excitedly as she watched us leave.

  Why was she smiling? I sure as hell wasn’t smiling, and Blake was practically dragging me away! He could have been hauling me off to slaughter me and leave my remains on a pig farm for all she knew, and Candice was just going to sit there and wave like a lunatic? Playground. Love. Over. Best-friend card officially revoked.

  As soon as we were outside, I yanked my arm free and continued to follow Blake as he made his way off campus. Well, at least he was right about one thing: I couldn’t count this as a date. No way would I have worn baggy sweats cut off at my calves and a tight tank on a date.

  “Are you still mad?”

  I glanced up to see his stupid smirk, which I kind of hated right now. “Why would I be mad? I was just dragged out of a building to go walk with a guy I turned down for a date.”

  His smirk turned into a full-blown smile. “Still mad,” he said, and looked ahead. “Although I always did find your temper adorable, let me know when you’re not.”

  Thirty minutes later I was getting tired of following him around. Tour guide my nonexistent ass. He wasn’t looking at anything. He was walking with a purpose and hadn’t looked back at me since he’d asked if I was mad.

  “So, this has been awesome and all. Are you going to tell me where we’re going now?”

  “Are you going to tell me what you’re mad about?”

  “I’m not mad!”

  He slowed his pace so he was directly next to me and I was surprised to see him looking at me completely seriously. “Yes you are, Rach. If you didn’t want to go on the date on Friday, you would have never agreed, and you wouldn’t be following me right now.” I opened my mouth but he cut me off. “You would have gone back to your dorm and you know it. I was two steps ahead of you the entire time; you could have turned back if you were really mad at me.”

  “You didn’t even give me an option to say no!” He raised an eyebrow and I huffed, “All right. Fine. Maybe I am mad.”

  “And you’re mad at me.”

  “Yeah, Blake, I am.”

  “But not because I pulled you out of the building.”

  Oh my word, he was so infuriating! “Uh, yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s why I’m mad. Are you going to start telling me I’m not hungry either? Since you all of a sudden seem to know me so well?”

  He pulled me to a stop and moved to stand directly in front of me, tipping my head back with his fingers under my chin. “You’re mad because of the girls around me when you walked in this afternoon.”

  “I—”

  “And I told you I only see you. I’ll tell you that over and over again until you understand that. They mean nothing, nor do I notice anything other than the fact that they talk like they’re in middle school.”

  “I don’t care about them the way you think I do. When I saw it, it just reminded me why I never wanted to go on a date with you in the first place. Nothing more, nothing less.”

  “You’re lying, Rachel.” I could smell the mint from his gum and feel his breath on my lips, and suddenly I was wondering if I was lying. There must have been something in his gum that put me in a daze. “It’s fine to admit you were getting jealous. I hate seeing the way Aaron looks at you, and you work with him every day.”

  I was so not getting jeal— Wait. What?! Aaron’s gay. I leaned away from his nearness and started to tell him when I realized we were on top of a bridge surrounded by a bunch of people just standing there looking toward the side like they were waiting for something. I pointed toward the people. “Uh . . . am I missing something?”

  Blake looked a little smug as he glanced at his watch, then the sky. “Nope, give it a couple minutes. We got here just in time.”

  Aaron, his sexuality, and the fact that Blake had gotten jealous over my flaming gay friend completely forgotten, I looked at the sky, then pulled out my phone to check the time. There was nothing special about the time from what I could tell. As for the sky, it was nearly dusk, and although it was beautiful I didn’t know why that was anything worth noting either. Glancing at the people and the street around us, I turned and saw the street sign and did a double take. We were on Congress Avenue.

  “Oh no. No, no, no, no, no!” I started backing up but ended up against Blake’s chest. His arms circled around me, effectively keeping me there. I felt his silent laughter.

  “I take it you know about this then. Ever seen it?”

  “No, and there’s a reason. I’m terrified of—” Just then, close to a million bats took flight from underneath the bridge. A small shriek escaped my lips and I clamped my hands over my mouth, like my sound would attract the bats to me.

  There was nothing silent about his next laugh. Blake tightened his arms around me and I leaned into him more. I’d like to say it was purely because my biggest fear was flying out around me, but I’d be lying if I said his musky cologne, strong arms, and chest had nothing to do with it either. This was something I’d wanted for years, and I almost couldn’t believe that I was finally there, in his arms.

  I continued to watch in utter horror and slight fascination as the stream of bats, which seemed to never end, continued to leave the shelter of the bridge and fly out into the slowly darkening sky.

  Minutes later, Blake leaned in and put his lips up against my ear. “Was that really so bad?”

  Forcing my hand from my mouth, I exhaled shakily and shook my head. “Not as bad as I’d imagined. Doesn’t change the fact that they are ugly and easily the grossest thing I’ve ever seen.”

  “But now you can say you’ve faced one of your fears.”

  “The biggest.”

  “See?” He let go of me and started walking again in the direction we’d come from. “You up for a drink?”

  I realized I was still shaking so I nodded my head and followed him. “Just one though.”

  We walked for well over half an hour while Blake tried to re-create my shriek at seeing the bats and I accused him of doing that with every girl so he’d have an excuse to put his arms around her. The air between us was much more relaxed this time as he asked about my life after he’d joined the air force. I told him all about the end of middle school and high school but never once mentioned my parents. I wasn’t sure if he knew about them or not, but there was no point in bringing up that hurt. Besides, if he had known, he hadn’t even come back for the funeral. Just as we were passing the school, Blake slid his hand down my arm and intertwined our fingers.

  “Rachel, why did you finally agree to go out with me?”

  When I looked up, I was surprised at his somber expression. I would have expected something a little more taunting. “Do you want me to answer that honestly?”

  “I’d appreciate it. I’ve asked you out for . . . shit. I don’t know, nine months now? No matter what I said, your answer was always no. Until last night.”

  “Well . . .” I looked down at the sidewalk passing beneath our feet.

  �
��You can tell me, it’s fine. You never were one to hide your feelings. And your hate for me lately has been a little more than apparent. I’m already expecting the worst.”

  “I don’t hate you. I just don’t exactly like you . . . anymore.” I squinted up at him and nudged his side with the arm he still had a firm grip on.

  He gave a little grunt with a forced smile.

  “Um, Candice is always bugging me for turning you down. She said she would stop if I agreed to one date with you.” I know, I know, I could have made something up that wasn’t so harsh. But I didn’t. If I hadn’t looked back down, I probably would have missed the pause in his step.

  “Figures.” We walked for a few more minutes before he paused and turned to me. “I’m not going to make you go out with me.”

  “You aren’t. I said I’d go.”

  He raised an eyebrow, making it disappear under his shaggy hair. “You also told me earlier today that we weren’t going anymore. I’m just letting you know I’ll stop. All of it. Asking you all the time, what I did today. And I’ll talk to Candice.”

  “Blake—”

  “No, Rach, I should have stopped a long time ago. I’m sorry you felt pressured into it last night. I want you to want to go on a date with me. I don’t want you to go just so she’ll drop it or because you want me to quit asking. Which I will.” I couldn’t tell if he looked more embarrassed or hurt.

  Is it ridiculous that I want to comfort him? “I want to go.”

  “No, you don’t.”

  Okay, still somewhat true. “I didn’t . . . before.” Ugh, who am I kidding. He knows I’m lying anyway. “Look, I don’t know what you want me to say. You can’t exactly blame me for not wanting to go out with you.” He looked as if I’d slapped him. I hurried on before I could chicken out on the rest. “I mean, come on, Blake, you were rumored to be screwing all these students, coworkers, and faculty. And not once did you try to shut down those rumors. Add to that, the Blake I grew up with is completely gone; now you’re usually kind of a douche. Why would I want to go out with someone like that?”