Whiskey (Brewed Book 2)

  The Brewed Series

  Fix

  The Rebel Series

  Lyric

  Lock

  Limit

  The Redemption Series

  Blackbird

  Firefly

  Nightshade

  The Thatch Series

  Letting Go

  To The Stars

  Show Me How

  The Sharing You Series

  Capturing Peace (novella)

  Sharing You

  The Forgiving Lies Series

  Forgiving Lies

  Deceiving Lies

  Changing Everything (novella)

  The From Ashes Series

  From Ashes

  Needing Her (novella)

  The Taking Chances Series

  Taking Chances

  Stealing Harper (novella)

  Trusting Liam

  Stand-Alone Novels

  I See You

  Brewed Novels Still to Come

  Black

  Fire

  Copyright © 2020 Molly McAdams

  Published by Jester Creations, LLC.

  First Edition

  All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without prior permission of the publisher.

  Please protect this art form by not pirating.

  Molly McAdams

  www.mollysmcadams.com

  Cover Design by RBA Designs

  Photo by © Samantha Weaver Photography

  Illustrations by © Oleksandr Babich

  Editing by Shannon Andrew

  The characters and events in this book are fictitious. Names, characters, places, and plots are a product of the author’s imagination. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

  Print ISBN: 9781950048939

  eBook ISBN: 9781950048922

  Contents

  Dedication

  Prologue

  1. Cayson

  2. Emberly

  3. Cayson

  4. Cayson

  5. Cayson

  6. Emberly

  7. Emberly

  8. Cayson

  9. Cayson

  10. Cayson

  11. Emberly

  12. Emberly

  13. Cayson

  14. Emberly

  15. Cayson

  16. Cayson

  17. Cayson

  18. Emberly

  19. Emberly

  20. Cayson

  21. Emberly

  22. Cayson

  23. Emberly

  24. Cayson

  25. Cayson

  26. Emberly

  27. Emberly

  28. Cayson

  29. Cayson

  30. Emberly

  31. Cayson

  32. Cayson

  33. Cayson

  34. Emberly

  35. Emberly

  36. Cayson

  37. Emberly

  38. Cayson

  39. Emberly

  40. Emberly

  41. Cayson

  42. Cayson

  43. Emberly

  44. Emberly

  45. Cayson

  46. Cayson

  47. Emberly

  Epilogue

  The End

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  For Caisey Quinn . . .

  Here’s to dead phone batteries and empty gas tanks.

  I hopped up onto a large windowsill, fighting the smirk I could feel tugging at my lips as I waited in the school’s crowded hallway.

  “Cays,” one of my friends called out, his booming voice echoing above the low roar of hundreds of students. “We skipping?”

  “No,” I hissed and then sent a placating look to one of our teachers who was standing in her nearby doorway, glaring at me as she waited for the next period’s students. “Of course not, when have I ever?”

  “You weren’t in my class this morning, Mr. Dixon.”

  My mouth opened as I struggled to think of an explanation. “I was busy—there were these ducks . . .”

  Her eyes rolled as she began stepping back into her classroom. “Detention, Mr. Dixon. Get to class.”

  Worth it.

  “So, are we skipping?” my friend asked as he came to stand near me, this time softer and with a look that was both apologetic and amused.

  “No, I just need to see something.”

  From where I sat, I had the perfect view.

  “There’s so much to see,” he groaned loudly. “What am I supposed to be looking for?”

  “Just wait, man.”

  She would come, I was sure of it. She always stopped by her locker during this passing period, a locker all too easy to get inside considering she’d stopped using locks a while ago.

  Pranking made the days go by faster. Whether it was something as small as continuously moving a stapler to the other side of a desk when a teacher wasn’t looking, or riding a cow through the halls of the school.

  But pranking Emberly Olsen? I lived for that.

  For the little moments I allowed myself to get closer to her. The reactions that were cute as hell. The way she did the faintest foot stomp and yelled, “Cayson Dixon!” Completely unaware that I was craving to hear her say my name in all kinds of ways.

  That I was desperately in love with her.

  That smirk I’d fought against burst into an unrestrained smile when she walked up to her locker, only to falter when I realized she was walking.

  Emberly sort of bounced everywhere she went, the tiny ball of excitement moving in a way that almost looked like dancing.

  Of all days for her not to be dancing, her birthday wasn’t it.

  I was so focused on trying to figure out what could’ve been wrong that I nearly missed when she opened her locker and all the little rubber ducks I’d stuffed in there came pouring out.

  People gasped. Others laughed and called out happy birthday. My younger brother glared at me from directly beside her. I was shoved playfully.

  But I couldn’t revel in it.

  Because there was no foot stomp. There was no yell.

  She just looked at the puddle of ducks at her feet for long moments before lifting her head and easily finding me.

  Her expression gutting and spearing me in place because she was staring at me as if I’d destroyed her in a soul-crushing kind of way.

  For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out what I’d done.

  But that was the last time I pranked Emberly Olsen.

  For so many reasons, I never thought I’d be here again.

  In this place. Near these people.

  It had been almost a decade and yet, I’d found myself back here as if my soul had led the way. When I’d stepped out of my truck in downtown Amber, an unsettling feeling had washed through me and threatened to undo me.

  A mixture of regret and guilt and shame . . . and home.

  I’d nearly left right then because home was something I didn’t deserve. Not after what I’d done.

  But I’d somehow still ended up inside Brewed—the combined coffee shop and bar—drawn toward the reason I’d come to a stop in the middle of the street in the first place.

  Staring and staring and trying to make myself understand that what I was seeing was real.

  But seeing him had changed everything.

  Made my time away from here a living thing.

  Made the past come rushing back.

  Made my chest ache.

  Because the guy who’d stared at me like I just might be a hallucination or a bad joke was a grown man, and I’d b
een remembering him as an annoying teenager all these years. And it fucking hurt to see the difference nine and a half years had made.

  It hurt to see that my little brother looked just like our dad . . . whose death my entire family blamed me for.

  I dragged my hands through my hair and over my face as I stepped out of the unnervingly silent shop, walking away from him and the gawking people and Emberly Olsen.

  “Get out. You’re not welcome here.”

  Her demand and reminder as she’d stared at me with horror and contempt replayed in my mind, driving home the knowledge that I should have stayed gone.

  Why I ever thought coming here would be a good idea, I didn’t know.

  “Cayson.”

  I stopped a couple spaces from my truck at my brother’s harsh tone, debating on whether or not to keep walking.

  To hear him out or apologize for thinking I could do this . . .

  I bit out a curse and turned to find him looking all kinds of pissed.

  “Nine years—more than that,” he said, his teeth clenched tight. “Why now?”

  I spread my arms out to the sides before letting them fall. “I thought you’d at least be happy, fuck.”

  “Nine. Years,” he ground out. “I’ve had to watch Mom break for nine fucking years over you. So, tell me why you’re back now.”

  Damn if that didn’t hurt.

  I struggled to keep my outer appearance neutral as his words seeped in . . . as I tried to wade through the chaos in my mind.

  I’d spent so long trying to justify my absence and refusing to acknowledge the pain that came with it that I hadn’t realized exactly how much I’d missed my family until Sawyer had been right in front of me.

  I wanted to hug him.

  I wanted to apologize for so many damn things.

  But a bigger part of me wanted to leave before I could make this worse.

  That pain I felt? My family had their share. And after his initial reaction—after Emberly’s—I couldn’t help but wonder if my being there would just reopen old wounds they’d spent years healing.

  I cleared my throat and answered, “There isn’t work on the rig right now. Almost everyone got sent home until further notice.”

  Doubt lined his face and made my heart race as I silently begged him to accept it, knowing he might call me out for it. “That isn’t the first time that’s happened since you left.”

  “I know, Sawyer.” I was well aware of all the other times I’d had a chance to come back here and hadn’t. “I know.”

  When he only continued to watch me, waiting for a better explanation, I pushed my fingers roughly through my hair as I thought of what all to say . . . what truths to tell him. As I fought back the apologies and pleas for him to forgive me for something he couldn’t understand.

  A breath of a curse escaped me, and my arms fell to my sides as I offered him the only truth I was able to part with. “After what happened with you a few months ago, I felt like I was failing you. Like I wasn’t there for you when you needed me. So, I’m here.”

  “We needed you nine years ago,” he said, tone dripping with barely-restrained resentment. “As for failing me?” A harsh laugh escaped him. “First, like you just said, that was months ago. Second, there’re two other brothers you’ve forgotten about completely.”

  I went still at the mention of them.

  Jaw clenched tight so I wouldn’t respond.

  Hands curled into fists to try to take my mind off the deep ache and bitterness that formed whenever I thought about them.

  Sawyer had been the only one to continue reaching out in the beginning for reasons other than to cast guilt. When his longtime girlfriend had died just weeks after our dad, I’d begun calling him every week to check on him—to let him know I still cared. He was the only one I’d kept in touch with these past nine years.

  But Beau and Hunter . . . our older brothers? The three of us hadn’t spoken in all this time.

  There were only so many calls I could handle where they blamed me for wrecking our family. For starting a domino effect that, in turn, wrecked their lives too.

  Only so many messages I could receive, blaming me for killing our dad even though I’d been half a state away.

  Only so many times I could listen to them idolize a man who had been nothing but an asshole to me.

  “Even if there isn’t work right now,” Sawyer went on, brows set low in challenge, “there still has to be work somewhere down there. And what about your girlfriend?”

  The strain I put on my jaw turned painful.

  The ache that flared in my chest surpassed everything else this goddamn town had dug up, but I forced it down. Forced it back.

  Because that ache wasn’t mine to feel.

  It never had been.

  “There isn’t work,” I repeated gruffly. “We all got sent home.”

  Sawyer’s head moved in a hesitant nod, his expression changing to something closer to understanding. As if ignoring the question about my girlfriend had been an answer in itself.

  He shifted his weight a bit, his stance relaxing. “I have waited for this moment for a damn long time. But I’m gonna need time to get past that you weren’t here when you should’ve been.”

  “Understood.”

  “You have somewhere to stay?” His head slanted and brows pulled tight. “Does Mom know?”

  “No. I didn’t know if . . .” If I would turn around and leave as soon as I made it here. If I was coming here at all . . . “Not yet,” I finally said.

  “If you plan on leaving again, leave now before she finds out.” He closed some of the distance between us, his voice hardening as he did. “You stay? Then stay. But know if you up and leave again, I will hunt you down and beat the shit out of you for the way you have broken our mom’s heart. Understand?”

  I nodded.

  A knot formed in my throat when I thought about that woman. About what she had already gone through and all the things she had been blinded to.

  And the fact that she probably already knew I was in town because that was just the way Amber, Texas worked.

  As much as I wanted to bolt, to escape the judgment and whispers I could feel crawling across my skin, I wasn’t sure I could do that to her—not again.

  “You need to decide what you’re gonna do.”

  “I’m not leaving.”

  He watched me for a while, seeming to decide if he believed me or not, before nodding and starting back toward the building. “I gotta talk to Rae, but you can stay in our guest room for now.”

  Surprise and gratitude swept through me, only to fade when he paused at the doors of Brewed and said, “Do me a favor and stay away from Emberly.”

  I wasn’t sure if I wanted to laugh or demand to know why . . . but I could feel it. Those old suspicions and pains and cravings I’d buried deep trying to resurface.

  My gaze drifted toward Brewed, though I could only see the people seated next to the windows, not even pretending to look anywhere other than at us.

  But I knew somewhere in there was Emberly Olsen.

  The girl I’d spent my teenage years forcing myself to stay far, far away from.

  The girl who had changed into someone nearly unrecognizable.

  The girl who clearly hated me.

  The girl who had seen too much all those years ago . . .

  “Yeah, well, that’ll be easy considering she kicked me out of her shop.”

  “I’m serious, Cays. She doesn’t need to deal with your shit again. She had more than enough of it when we were growing up.”

  I looked to Sawyer, my expression falling as I realized the depth of his plea and the scene in Brewed.

  As I wondered again why I had thought it was a good idea to come back.

  Didn’t matter that it had been nearly a decade. It could have been two or three, and it wouldn’t have changed anything. This town was small, and it had a long memory.

  “Trust me,” I began in a grave tone, “I want nothing t
o do with Emberly Olsen.”

  With a dip of his head, he pulled open one of the doors and disappeared into the shop.

  Soon after, he was walking back out with the girl he’d been with when I’d first stepped into Brewed. The one he’d tucked close to his side just before he’d seen me.

  Rae.

  The stranger who had shaken up the town a few months ago when she’d revealed who her birth mom was, making her Emberly’s older sister. The girl who had gotten Sawyer to fall in love again. But I hadn’t been able to really focus on her before. I’d been too stunned by the changes in my brother.

  Now?

  Jesus, she really did look just like Emberly.

  Considering Emberly and Sawyer had always been so close that you couldn’t find one without the other, it was weird.

  Long, dark hair. Bright, hazel eyes. Lips so full they were mesmerizing.

  But where Rae’s eyes were full of excitement and mischief, Emberly’s had been filled with scorn. Where Rae’s mouth tilted up like she had a secret, Emberly’s had dripped with disdain—not much had changed there since we were kids.

  Identical and nothing alike.

  Her stare touched on Sawyer before darting to me when they stopped in front of me, her lips pulling into a smile. “I’m Rae.”